I joined a couple of months ago, but this is my first post.
I'm Heather and my guy is a memeber of Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia, and we've been together for about a year (September 16). He is the love of my life and I can't imagine it without him anymore.
While I love him very very much, I much dislike how some of his brothers voice their dislike for me. Some of them are good friends of mine now, but the others are a strong direct opposite. It's never a problem until we go to a frat party together. Then I feel very uncomfortable and find myself asking him if we can leave early; it makes me feel horrible. He says it's fine, but I'm determined to make it better.
School is about to start up again, and I was wondering if any of you girls had some advice on how to deal with these judgemental brothers? Please help!
Much <3 and kisses
Hey Everyone, Im a GDI girlfriend of a wonderful Alpha Tau Omega man at the University of South Florida in Tampa. We've been together for almost 3 years, and I'm on my way to being a 'sweetheart' for them (they arent allowed to have them yet)I love and support him, plus I supply dinner, and random goodies for their meetings.
But anyway I am a frat guy's girlfriend :)
So I just joined. My name is Candice and I dated a frat guy for 11 months before he joined the frat but he is now one of my best friends. I also dated one of his frat brothers for about a month or two. Most recently I am with Patrick who is also in a frat (different school and frat) and just thought that this would be cool. I don't have to deal with the tension of dating a frat boy as much anymore as my boyfriend's frat is very laid back. However, I do have quite a bit of experience in the department of dating the hardcore frat guys. Just thought that I would say hi and I'd love to chat if anyone wants to add me to their friends list, I'll add back!
Responding to your comments below,
My main concern with the way the greek system is structured is that the secrecy and ritual creates a strong sense of community, but it's not the kind of community that is stable and built up over time, and could end up as more of a cult mentality.
The mysticism in the rituals of the greek system not surprisingly does have a Greek origin; it is pretty much a less intense version of the Hermetic mysticism so popular at the time of fraternities' creation, such as the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. I have experienced something of the rituals of that society, which also exists today, and from what I know of "greek" rituals and symbolism it is clear they share a common ancestry, though the fraternities were historically more interested in secular knowledge rather than the mystical aims of other secret societies.
Concerning my question about whether fraternities are intrinsically right wing, perhaps the easiest way to put it is, how many frat guys/sorority girls do you know who vote Democrat?
Can you share with me some of the negative experiences you've had that stem from the gender segregation of the greek system?
Another question I have is, if you hate fraternities, how can you stand to be together with someone whose decisions you don't respect? How do you deal with the situation, and how do you fit in to that whole crowd?
I've actually found that it's not bothering me so much anymore; it seems to have a lot of meaning for my girl, and the greek system is a fascinating anachronism to observe. I'm just trying to understand as much as I can.
My girlfriend and I have been together for two months (today!) but we've known each other and been friends for 6 months or so.
She's a Kappa sister, and she absolutely loves her sorority and the opportuities that go with it.
Me, I don't even go to a university that *has* fraternities, and I'm about as far away from a frat guy as you can get, in any case...
I love my girl dearly, and we're good friends and good partners in spite of, or maybe even because of, our differences.
The sorority thing has caused a little tension, though I've done my best to understand what it's all about and accept it. I know that if I love her I have to respect the choices she makes and the things that are important to her.
A few things bother me about glo's, though, and I wonder if you might be able to give me some insight, since I'm pretty new at this.
1 -- The secrecy. The fact that I can't really know what goes on at those meetings, or even what the sorority is all about. Maybe it's just my innate curiosity, but it makes me slightly uneasy at times. There's a part of my sweetie's life that I can never be a part of, and that stings a bit, I guess.
2 -- The group mentality. You know, some people might see this as a positive, but sometimes reading greeks' gushing about their organisations gives me the creeps.
3 -- The mystical element. I've had friends mixed up in organisations like the Golden Dawn, and learned a little more than I'm supposed to about secret societies and classical mysticism and ritual. I know frats/sororities aren't centered around it, but I wouldn't mind knowing how deeply it runs.
4 -- How right-wing are glo's, generally?
5 -- Gender segregation. Though I've heard of some "real" co-ed fraternities.
Don't get me wrong, I've started to see the positive aspects of greek life, but I do have these things that gnaw at me from time to time.
I look forward to discussion.
So, it's a little odd for me to be posting here... I'm not a frat boy's girfriend. In fact, I'm not a girl at all.
What I am is a sorority girl's boyfriend... and there's nowhere for me to go. So I came here. I hope I'm welcome, because after all, division by gender is a greek thing, right? And we're not greek... right?
Take care, I look forward to hearing what you folks have to say.
this is copied from a forum on Greek Chat. i would love to see your reactions to it....
"you first post said, and correct me if I am wrong. "I met him while he was pledging" or something along those lines. Which mean we already picked to spend his life with this GLO, and then you came along. Now if you two were dating for years before he rushed, that would be a different story. In this case he may a promise to his fraternity for life. He promised with his soul; out loud, infront of witnesses. Has he even said remotely anything similar to you. Or is it in your head? Greek Life is not for 4 years, its for life. PLus I know of several chapters that a brother must ask them for permission in you hand in marriage. If they said know, then your boyfriend should not ask you, since he promised to be faithfull to his brothers before he meet you, that promise would break all other promised made after the act that may interfer with his original promise. Personaly, I would not want to be with a guy who can break a solem vow oveder a pretty face, or a piece of a$$."
just an introduction. i'm not a girlfriend (but if i were i'd be a god damned independent one), but just supporting sarah in her efforts to bring people together, share frustrations that come along with dating in the greek world, since i've been there in the past and might in the future.